Man I am crank-ola. I forgot that I get this way when the weather gets cold. I resent the fact that I have to work tomorrow and especially that I have to think TODAY about having to work tomorrow. Blah. Add on top this is the very busiest time of the year for me at work and I have a presentation to give for my class tomorrow night. The entire week is full of things that I have to do. Mind you many of them are fun, but I need to plan some unplanned time where I can just mess around and get ready for the return of the SB this weekend sometime. And figure out what I am going to make for Thanksgiving dinner, and what I am going to get everyone for Christmas and when exactly I am going to do my Christmas shopping not to mention the 40 things I want to make for people.
I think there is a bit of an issue of expectation. In my dreams it is possible for me to have a house that is clean, debris free and infinitely inviting while working full time, taking classes and volunteering for the neighborhood association and the theatre. I can manage to make all my own meals thriftily and with joy and love. I don't throw away vegetables that have rotted in the fridge while I grab slices of pizza and dumplings on the run.... I make all the gifts I give to my loved ones from thrift store finds and scraps of broom straw and they are cherished by those who receive them. My garden is an oasis that blooms on all but the two coldest days of the year in a miraculous profusion of color and without unwanted grass and weeds. In my dream world I am fiscally responsible and purchase only those things that I know I need and want and will use to make my daily life more enjoyable and more productive. I help the SB begin paying off his school loans before he ever graduates. I am able to scratch everything off my to do list. In short, in my dream world I am a mixture of my mother, Martha Stewart and Alan Greenspan.